the first thing I noticed this morning was how mom’s potted plants on our windowsill opened to the sun.

then it was the way the light was touching the sky.

and then how the street sweepers broke the silence with their heavy metal song.

sometimes nothing makes a noise.

abuelita says that in a silence where I can hear a pin drop, she hears a constant ringing in her ears. she often asks people to repeat what they say. when I turn up the volume on something grungy I’m playing, she says it pays sometimes to be a little deaf, but I think she’s kidding.

I crunch my Lucky Charms cereal as loud as I can and begin imagining what it must be like never ever to be able to hear anything.

I begin thinking the problem with going deaf is that it implies a destination, I mean, you don’t actually go anywhere.

falling in love, that also implies a destination — a day, maybe a morning just like this one, when you will have landed, a specific moment you will be actually in love. one minute you’re here, the next you’re there.

but love and sound don’t work this way.

this is not a heavy metal song.

37 responses to “heavy metal”

  1. Haha, yes, deaf is not a destination.

    Love is choosing to take action to do so, not a feeling, not something you can unwittingly trip and fall into or fall back out of.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I believe you’re right, Petrina. the only kind of love I know is the one you have elegantly described.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I love your share, Cookie and smiled and shook my head knowingly about being hearing impaired. It’s a tough world to live in and I really have so much empathy my mom, FIL and so many others that share this disability.
    I love your comparisons. She must have been kidding! Love this song. I try to sign up but it makes me enter my password that I have forgotten. 💕💓💗

    Liked by 3 people

    1. o, thank you, Cindy. I’m not sure what’s up with my grandmother; it has me concerned. but she finds the humor in it, and that makes it easier in some way. x

      Liked by 3 people

      1. You’re so very welcome and that’s a good thing. It’s hard on everyone when someone can’t hear but harder on the person. You’re a good granddaughter. 💓💗

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Cookie, I love heavy metal! =) It’s fun to blast at 6am. (lmao!!)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I do, too! it clears the mind like nothing else.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your abuelita must be freaked out by this lol

        Liked by 1 person

      2. But maybe that is bc she wasn’t brought up on such music. =p

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for sharing your song, cookie. Love the title. A special treat to follow your thoughts at the start of your day from potted plants to the profound and everything in between. Thank you for taking us on the journey. 💛

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Michele, sharing a part of my day with you truly makes me happy

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Willie Torres Jr. Avatar
        Willie Torres Jr.

        It’s funny, when I was listening to it, I was trying to Shazam it, I really liked it. It wouldn’t recognize the song, so I figured it must have been you. Very Beautiful. You have a Gift.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. We are enriched by your posts and expressive self. Thank you. ✨

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Willie Torres Jr. Avatar
      Willie Torres Jr.

      Sounds and love really are alike—they sneak up on you, shift, and never really land. Maybe that’s the beauty of both: you just experience them, moment by moment, without needing to arrive anywhere.

      I really like that song. Is that you singing?

      Liked by 3 people

      1. yes, that’s me, singing a song I wrote. thank you for listening!

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Noticing the subtle details around, like the light or the sounds, is half way toward awareness. It defies logic in so many ways, and out of the runways of the mind, we land in ourselves. Your posts, and this one in particular, have the power to bring me back home, inside. And to me, that’s a blessing. You are a blessing! Thank you for sharing your world with us. Lots of light, love, and blessings to you, my friend*

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I can’t think of kinder things a person can hear, Susana. thank you. x

      Liked by 1 person

  6. The wonderful weaving of your words again cookie. Priceless. My daughter absolutely loves house plants. Has so many it looks like a jungle in her house.

    My nephew is profoundly Deaf. From birth. A capital D on the word Deaf is used because the status of pride in Profound Deafness is why the community insist on D. We trained, as a family, in Sign Language because my nephew was to use Signing as his #1 communication method. I went on to support Deaf and Hard of Hearing students in universities and college courses.

    My nephew enjoys music. Especially loud discos. He hears nothing whatsoever. It is the elasticity of the brain which interprets the presence of sound through the created vibration. It is turned into ‘sound’. I read literature papers on it a fair while ago, but have forgotten the intricacies. Older people can go deaf over a long period of time. Coping with and learning to focus on lip reading from the practice of years spent needing to. Then a time arrives where extreme loss outweighs the coping tactics. Opticians over here, like Vision Express, have hearing test opportunities now. I should imagine the same applies over there cookie. May be an option.

    I always smile seeing your audio bar. Listened 3 times. Such a great song of yours. All the best cookie.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Gray, there’s a man at the memory center who is completely deaf. when I play, he often puts his hands on the guitar to feel the vibrations. I’ve also noticed that when loud music plays, he finds a way to dance, which I find remarkable. thank you for reading and listening. it’s a joy to share my music with you.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. My tutor in Sign Language was profoundly Deaf and was a dancer. She explained she kept time through the music vibration from the wooden stage boards. Dance and music are two truly unique sources for providing freedom in expression for everyone.

        It’s always a pleasure to listen to your songs cookie.

        Liked by 2 people

  7. So true, Cookie, about ’going’ deaf and ‘falling’ in love. Fascinating song. Very mellow.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. o, hi, thank you, Sheila!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I read this post yesterday, but was unable to hear the music because I was in class lol 🤭
    I’m glad I came back to listen, Cookie…💫🤍

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh I love “Shin” Cookie! The mood on that is so strong with the spare arrangement adding to it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so happy you do, Frank!

      Like

  10. Cookie….says 14 October 😱😋

    hope you well 🤍💫

    Liked by 1 person

    1. so it’s hard right now but I will post soon xo

      Liked by 2 people

      1. no pressure…just wanted to say hi and see if you okay…take care of you okay…🤗

        Liked by 2 people

  11. I love lucky charms cereal.

    Your opening describing your mom’s plants sounds so cozy.

    Some moments are so defining. Like all of a sudden you’re in another realm almost, and there’s no going back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hi I miss your writing

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hey you! How are you doing?
        I am sorry. I’ll be back here soon!

        Like

      2. I hope so (you, back soon). me, I don’t know, not so great suddenly. hopefully, I’ll be back soon, too.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I am sorry to hear. 😦 I hope to see you posting again soon! Feel better soon.

        Like

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