my abuela is extremely nostalgic about the music she listened to when she was a teenager in the mid-1960s. The Beach Boys, The Beatles, The Supremes. sources say she even danced The Twist but those claims won’t be confirmed or denied.

(psst I bet she did.)

if you were a teen in the 1970s, then you might know all the words to songs by Fleetwood Mac, The BeeGees, or ABBA. or every tune in the Sinatra catalog if you remember the 50s and 40s.

I’m not sure why this is so but there’s this tight bond for life between music and memory and emotion.

I notice this acutely among people with dementia at the memory care facility I visit a few streets over from me once a week to play songs. they can’t remember the names and faces of family members but they seem to have a maximum recall of the melodies and words from when they were young. their typical day unfolds with a predictable rhythm but they instantly are brought back to their past through music.

when I asked the music therapist there about it, she told me about a phenomenon called the reminiscence bump. she explained how people often disproportionately recall memories from when they were young teens to maybe their twenties or thirties.

maybe it’s because music from an earlier period in our lives is entangled with particular life experiences, like nervous first dates and rushed first kisses, unforgettable high school dances, fun times just hanging out with friends, weddings, stuff like that.

I don’t really know. but when I think about the lifetime of stories trapped inside the minds of the people at the memory care center, I can’t help but feel that the measure of life is not what is lost, it’s what remains, and the musical residue of their lives means everything.

I sang this there last night along with the few Beatles songs I can play, plus a couple of Everly Brothers and Buddy Holly tunes (which I love). it’s called bang bang and I played it because, I don’t know, it’s kinda got a haunting vibe. hope you like.

19 responses to “remember?”

  1. My Mom loves the Bee Gees so I know a lot of the songs. LOL. My teenage daughter listens to ABBA!

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    1. oh, cool, I love all that stuff, too, it never gets old

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      1. Yeah, you have to admit, they do have some good songs. How Deep is Your Love is amazing, as is Does Your Mother Know.

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      2. I feel HDIYL is one of the greatest pop songs ever written.

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      3. Cool!

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  2. such a lovely gesture to sharing your music and giving of yourself, Cookie.
    …and profound thoughts you share with us too..”.life is not what is lost, it’s what remains…”
    indeed…🤍🙏💫

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    1. ♥️ I feel they bring out the best of me, and I want to be better.

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      1. wonderful to experience…and we think you quite the bestest already 😁🤍💫

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  3. What an angel you are for sharing your music in the ways that you do. I imagine it is rewarding for you to share your gifts and gives you an opportunity to continue honing your skills. Fascinating music/memory phenomenon, isn’t it? I saw a clip about this a few weeks back. Heartwarming to know some memories are retained. Sweet memories. A lovely share, cookie. 🙏🏻 You inspire!

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    1. 😇, a fallen one, maybe, but I like that you see the potential. I’m trying, Michele. the people at the places I play are saving me. xo

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      1. Makes you more empathetic and genuine, in my opinion. You are doing! xo

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  4. Haunting tune was a spot on description. Loved this cookie. And the lyrics were so apt for your assembled people too. I have been in your situation a number of times where I played guitar and sang to people with dementia. When I was a nurse. Your description of connecting with music is spot on in every way. The expressions on faces change into a whole new brighter and thoughtful world. Amazing insightful words and song here cookie. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. oh, thank you, Gray. it’s a sublime experience singing to people there, so different from being at a bar or some other place where there’s noise and movement and the distractions are external, you know what I mean. when I make eye contact with people at the center, you can tell sometimes they really tune in, and it is the most gratifying thing in the whole world being able to reach them.

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      1. Spot on cookie. I played in the Day Hospital. A nurse ran it for discharged patients and they attended a once a week visit for an eight week period. Social considerations in provision of interactive activities. I dropped in a fair few times over the year to play. Same as your Beatles choices, etc. Very much like your centre, it was an oasis for the attending visitors. Your song lyrics would have meant so much to them. And voice! Brilliant. Cheers cookie.

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  5. Lovely post, Cookie! 😊

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  6. It’s beautiful how powerful music is. It even brings memories back for people with Alheimers. There are so many memories in music. ❤️

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  7. Listening to the music from the seventies always makes me smile.

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